Want to, Can(’t) Do is first and foremost a multimedia self-portrait. I’ve recorded my artistic process while working on Peniel, my ball-jointed doll. Peniel is a representation of myself. I both want to highlight my personal artistic process as well as my artistic process as a person with ADHD.
I’m trying to show this through recording myself while working on my doll, moments when I physically can’t, as well as moments of rest. I’ll animate little personifications of my brain’s tendencies on top of this footage. These personifications I call Braingremlins.
I hope other people with ADHD can recognise themselves, but I’m also very interested in how their experiences diverge from mine! As for people who are neurotypical, I hope that my work is able to show you that while it is possible to make something beautiful, having ADHD within our current system can be quite debilitating.
The subject of this thesis is about my personal view on my artistic process and how it is influenced by external factors as well as my struggles with writing.
This thesis isn't typical in a writing sense; I write the way I speak, making for a less formally written and structured thesis. I do this because it is in line with my project being personal. It's autoethnographical, as well as being about ADHD. What I mean specifically is that as someone with ADHD structure and typical logical order doesn't come naturally for me, and I let that shine through.
It also contains character pages for the Braingremlins and Tara. Get to know us!